For all you nay-sayers and charlatans, I have seen Seasons 1-6 of Shameless. And I loved each season as if they were my own dysfunctional family members. Maybe that’s why they grew on me so much…

Anyway, here we are with the Season 7 (jaysisssss) Premiere, Hiraeth. After long an extensive research into what the fuck Hiraeth means, it gave me a big old fuck you, as it’s actually Welsh, with no direct English translation (of course). However, I guess it’s basically homesickness, which makes a whole lot of sense as E.1 focused on bringing the Gallagher family back to their humble abode in the Southside of Chi-Town.

Now right off the bat, I’m not sure how old Carl (Ethan Cutkosky) and Dom (Jaylen Barron) are supposed to be in this show, but woah. Starting off with Carl going muff diving on Dom is such a Shameless move. Way to shake off the fuckin cobwebs and swandive back into Season 7. I will always, for some reason, see him as the most innocent Gallagher. Even though he is arguably (definitely) the worst sibling, he still looks like a child.

Speaking of starting off with a bang, Carl’s niptuck towards the ending of the show was priceless. Again, total Shameless move having a Gallagher grab a quick circumcision in the last 5 minutes of the show. Just gloss right over that bad boy real quick. Gotta think that whoever wrote this episode up was getting some second glances. Or maybe not, this shows been running since 2011 and I gotta imagine there has to be some numbness to some of the fucked up things that went down. Way to drop your shorts and wave your nuts around like the champs you are Shameless, I salute you.

My favorite character has always been Kevin (Steve Howey). Correction; my favorite character has always been Kevin, with long hair. None of this short, shaved head bullshit. I want luscious man-mane, like the goddamn lion he is. Shake that shit out and give me that lovable, doofy smile all fuckin day. Speaking of which, please don’t sleep on the fact that Steve Howey was in arguably (definitely) the best movie to come out in 2005, Supercross. Please, for a second, don’t you dare think I wasn’t gonna bring that shit up. Stay woke folks, stay woke.

I 100% see Lip (Jeremy Allen White) turning into the new Frank at some point. Not that Frank is going anywhere, because if he leaves the show, folks, we riot. But Lip is turning into a bit of an asshat again. This episode alone saw him quite college for a (potential) internship, grab a job at a diner, and start his own fucked up sobriety. I had a friend who was addicted to pain pills and went to rehab. He thought his version of being “sober” was smoking pot and drinking booze. He didn’t make it more than a month and he was right back in rehab. I can definitely see this shit happening to Lip later in the season.

Keeping with Lip, Professor Youens (Alan Rosenberg) looks like shit. No, like, his face literally looks like a wrinkled, dried up turd. Just baking in the hot sun until it’s hardened and you think it might be a weird shaped rock so you pick it up and all of a sudden the whole expedition turns south on you and you realize its a straight up piece of doo. Get it together Youens, your better than that.

Deb (Emma Kenney) has always annoyed me. Wait, no, she started to annoy me with the whole baby deal. Growing up in the capital of Rhode Island teen pregnancy, I am all too familiar with people who think like Deb. And let me tell you somethin’, they nailed it. Girls who want to get pregnant at such a young age are some of the most stubborn people to deal with. How about you go live and enjoy life for a bit before signing up to literally wipe someone’s ass? Regardless, I gotta respect her hustle. Stealing fancy-ass baby equipment from rich people is hilarious. I half-expected the first person to buy the stroller to be the woman she stole it from, which probably would have been even better than the long-con she’s going with, but hey, I’m not a writer. I just spew whatever comes to my mind  for shits-n-giggles.

As for Fiona (Emmy Rossum), still always a top-tier character on this show. Although the story does seem to be on a repeat cycle, right? Find a guy. Bang his brains out. Fall in love. Find out hes an (insert random criminal behavior). Dump him. Rinse fuckin repeat. I do see this Chad from Management guy maybe being her next star-crossed lover. Here’s hoping he’s not, as he looks like a fuckin’ dink.

Quick little tidbits to part with:

I don’t know who the fuck does the music for Shameless but he/she is a goddamn genius. They have the perfect blend of hipster-bullshit rock mixed with sentimental rainy day light-a-scented-candle-and-take-a-bath music. I’ve looked up more artists because of this punkrock Mozart than you can shake a shit covered stick at and I’m absolutely anticipating his next tracks.

I can totally see Ian (Cameron Monaghan) not trusting Caleb (Jeff Pierre) back firing in his face. Ian and Fiona seem to have a common theme in that category. Although, that did seem like a pretty legit “let me eat half your face” kiss on Caleb’s part. Hasn’t been my favorite of Ian’s flings. Fingers crossed that we get to see dirty Mickey Milkovich (Noel Fisher) come back and put out his cigarettes on Ian’s back.

TDR’s 5 Vegas Picks:

Fiona bones Chad from Management:30/70

Lip goes on a bender before Ep.6:60/40

Debbie gets caught by the first person she stole the stroller from:70/30

Steve/Jimmy comes back by the end of this season:60:40

Carl rips his dick-tches: 90/10

Rating:

Old Style

(8.6)

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