Whistle While You Work

This may have been the first TWD episode in awhile where I wasn’t compelled to punch a hole in my TV. Seriously, this show has been shambling it’s way over a cliff, just to snag itself on a branch, mid fall. Either suck or don’t. This mediocrity needs to end. Figure it the fuck out guys. It doesn’t help you start an episode with a question that is a huge let down when it’s answered. The only reason Michonne was killing those walkers was to stop a truck to get to Negan? Either Negan’s people are blind morons, cuz anyone could have seen that shit as a trap, or Michonne just has way too much time on her hands.

Speaking of which, learn how to fucking whistle. If you’re going to be so blatantly obvious with ripping off Omar from The Wire, find someone who knows how to whistle. Find someone who’s whistled at least once before shooting this scene. It was painful to hear her butcher that fucking song while trying to look like a BAMF. Seriously, her just walking in silence, maybe even skipping down the fucking road in pigtails screaming “VACATIONS ALL I EVER WANTED, VACATIONS HAVING A GETAWAY!” would have been better than hearing her whistle.

But I digress, what the fuck was the point of getting to Negan? We now have Rosita and Michonne trying to “assassinate” Negan, which are obviously gonna fail because if the Governor can last 2-3 seasons, Negan is lasting a whole lot longer. Especially considering how iconic of a villain he is in the comic book world, not just in TWD universe. You gotta assume with the mid-season finale coming up that someone is kissing Lucille, and I honestly can’t see it being Michonne or Rosita. So here’s hoping they’re not just a part of some stupid fucking storyline that devotes an entire episode to them stumbling around, finding another community, and convincing them to join Alexandria. Oh wait…

Strike While the Iron is Hot

So as some of you might have noticed from previous posts, I read the comics. I’m not completely caught up to the very last comic that Robert Kirkman has released but I can comfortably say I am past at least where this season is going, maybe even the next season. It’s a wild fucking ride folks, and there is plenty to look forward to, IF the show can get out of its own fucking way. I will try to refrain from spoiling anything that I think will happen, but I can guaran-fucking-tee that I will compare what’s already happened to how it’s done in the comics. With that said, I’m glad to see the ping pong table made an appearance…

Some of you may be wondering, “TDR, what’s so great about a ping pong table?” And to that I say, you’re a moron. Ping pong is easily one of the best games to play for creative stimulation as well as general fun. There’s a reason Google, Apple, and my own employer have a ping pong table. And what makes the Saviors so different? They’re arguably one of the most successful groups in the post-apocalyptic greater D.C. area. Why do you think that is? Creative stimulation and general fun. Ping pong. Aside from that, there’s a hilarious scene in the comics that’s a result of that ping pong table so hopefully it’ll make an appearance.

For anyone who hasn’t been following this blog, I have one major gripe with Negan. I think he was cast perfectly, the costume is on point, his demeanor is to the T, but there is one glaringly major disappointment that is the result of being on network television. He says “fuck”, alot. Like, a whole fucking lot. There might have been one piece of dialogue in the comics where he literally goes “fuckity fuck fuck fucking fuck fuck FUCK!”Although it may not seem like a big deal to you, it generally makes whatever he says even funnier in the comics. That was why his scene with Fat Joey and Carl talking about stroking Lucille’s pussy was so good. It was classic comic book Negan. He says something absolutely ridiculous, makes you laugh, then probably slits someones throat or does something like he did with Fat Joey. What you’re getting from the show is a watered down beer. You’re basically getting Natty Light, with half water in your glass.

However, there were two key scenes with Negan that we’re pretty much ripped right from the comics. The first being his encounter with Amber and Dwight’s ex-wife. A truly tense scene in every sense of the word, you can never tell if he’s going to beat her face in or just let her go. Really a testament to Jeffrey Dean Morgan as an actor, he plays Negan so well. Right down to the way he tells Carl to “look at their titties”, it’s exactly how I envisioned it would play out. Well done. The second part is the iron scene,which coincidentally is a result of the Amber scene. Again, ripped right from the comics, it again kinda just reinforces how cruel Negan is, but that there’s an order to his chaos. He wasn’t blindly burning that dude’s face off, it was the result of someone breaking his rules. Much like how killing Glenn and Abraham was a result of Rick and the Alexandria crew breaking his rules. These comic scenes are really the only thing saving TWD from falling off a cliff. That and Negan. Negan is tight.

Et tu, Dwight?

Sticking with Negan, we saw some more of Dwight this week, who I’ll be honest, I’ve taken a liking to. He’s the type of character that can make things interesting and actually help Daryl/Rick’s crew out in the fight against Negan. I could easily see Dwight pulling a Julius Caesar and stabbing Negan in the back. Especially since TWD has often been compared to Billy Shakespeare’s plays.

Where there’s a Dwight, there’s a Spencer. And with that, Rick may have more pressing issues within his camp. Spencer and Rick have never seen eye to eye, and with Negan entering Alexandria without Rick being there, that gives Spencer some time alone with the bad boy himself. Especially with Spencer getting real cozy with giving Negan half of their shit, don’t discount Spencer from being a prick.

I didn’t really understand the Father Gabriel piece. I know he’s had problems with Rick in the past, but it looks like now that Rick trusts him, you gotta think Gabriel is a bit more sensible? Maybe that’s why he ditched the car? I mean, his reaction to Spencer telling him he basically wanted to kill Rick was pretty chill. Especially for a fuckin man of the cloth.

Some tidbits for the road

Not much from Rick this episode, aside from some eyebrow raises and a water reservoir. If this is truly just a supply run, I may just give up on the show. Especially with how certain events play out in the comics, utilizing some of these earlier episodes as just lazy introductions is fucking annoying. Two essential characters going on a wild goose chase is fucked. If this leads to the introduction of a new character/old character coming back, I’m game. But if it just leads to finding some canned corn, fuck you and your stupid fucking show.

Ahhhhh, Eugene. Eugene, Eugene, Eugene. You portly son of a bitch. As Rosita put it, “you’ve finally done something useful.” This is a major production that can lead to a huge benefit for Rick and the Gang. Bullets are literally the new currency in the zombie apocalypse and having a manufacturing plant for bullets makes you the fucking Federal Reserve. Keep it up big guy and I’ll riot if they get rid of his mullet.

One quick end note: where the fuck can you get a cheese platter in the zombie apocalypse? I believe this is supposedly like 3 or 4 years after shit goes down. Cheese and veggies don’t last too long, especially without proper refrigeration. And I know the Kingdom and the Hilltop produce veggies and presumably cheese if they have cows and goats and shit, but olives. Where the fuck are they getting olives and cured meats? I guess if you have cows and goats and shit you can technically have cured meats, but olives? The fucking olives! Where the fuck are they getting olives??????

TDR’s 5 Vegas Picks

Daryl dies in the Season Finale:70/30

Rick gets his hand cut off at the Midseason Finale:50/50

Spencer turns on Rick:70/30

Dwight turns on Negan:60/40

Danai Gurira just learned how to whistle:90/10

Rating

Vegetable Platter at 3 am

(7.8)

Thanks again for reading. Feel free to leave a comment, like the blog, leave some feedback, or maybe even follow. See you next time kiddys.

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